Tobin
It took every bit of the self control honed from years in the guard, waiting, watching, and training, to stand aside and let Owen tend to Jade, to watch him comfort her and care for her when she needed it the most. She’d been through so much in mere seconds. Seconds, not even days. Fuck! One fucking day and her world turned to shit. I couldn’t imagine how she was holding herself together as much as she was.
She’s strong. That’s something I always admired about Jade. She’ll be fine. Owen’s good for her. He’s kind and compassionate. He wouldn’t break her heart like I would… if she ever knew the truth. He’d take care of her and make her happy while I keep her safe from afar. Far away from those deep green eyes that I could get lost in.
I shifted in my spot against the wall and stared at the bedroom door, willing it to open. My heart pounded at the sound of sadness and pleading in Jade’s voice when she asked Owen to stay and hold her. My arms ached to be the one soothing her to sleep, chasing away all the demons in her mind, and quieting her soul. Holding her soft body, feeling her relax into my embrace, trusting that I would take care of her in her most vulnerable state: sleep. I pushed all of those thoughts away. I could never be that person for her. I ruined that years ago, before she even knew who I was.
It took every bit of the self control I’ve accrued over the years dealing with my alter ego, my nemesis, my monster, to keep me from rushing into that room, throwing Owen out of the way, and claiming Jade for my own. My mate. Miiiiiine!
Dammit. What’s taking Owen so long? I’m barely holding my shit together here.
Just then, the door opened a few inches and Owen squeezed out, shutting it quietly before turning to face me.
“She sleeping?” I asked, my voice gravelly with emotion.
“Yeah.” Owen said, motioning with his head towards the living room as he walked down the hall. I quietly followed him, strangling the tumultuous emotions warring inside me.
“How’s she doing?” I asked cautiously, knowing what he would say. She’s scared and in shock. But he didn’t say anything. He just looked at me, studying my expressionless eyes and my fuck-off body language. He saw the pain I so artfully tried to suppress. Of course he did.
“She needs you, Tobin.” He said in a quiet, compassionate voice. Only Owen could say it that way.
“No.” I whispered, silently wishing I could be there for her. Knowing she would never have me after she knew the truth.
“Why, Tobin?”
“You know why, Owen.” I started to pace the living room.
“It wasn’t your fault. It could’ve happened to any of us. At any time.”
His comment angered me, unleashing the beast I was already struggling to contain. I stopped pacing and glared at him.
“He was my charge, Owen, my friend. It didn’t happen to any of us, it happened to me. I failed to keep him safe, and now he’s dead. You saw how his death crushed her. Do you honestly think Jade will ever forgive me and trust me with her safety, much less her heart, when I couldn’t even keep her father safe?” My voice got louder with each sentence. Each statement was a damning admission I loathed to express. Each proclamation tore at my soul. Owen sat in silence as I unloaded on him.
“You done being a miserable shit, now?”
“Fuck you, Owen.”
“No. Fuck you, Tobin. She isn’t like that, and you know it.”
I ran my hands through my hair, thinking about Jade. Owen was right. Jade had a big heart. She wouldn’t blame me for her father’s death. She didn’t have to. I was doing it for her. Resolved to put distance between us, I pointed to the laptop and cell phone centered on the coffee table.
“I set up a secure laptop for Jade. Make sure she closes out her website. Have her tell her customers that she’s on vacation or something.”
I knew she wouldn’t approve of letting her customers down, but Jade’s safety was my only concern. This new development was a problem and a solution wrapped up in a helluva messy package. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to kill the bastard that did it, or thank him for distracting my monster. I thought about it for a second. Kill, definitely kill. My monster was ready for a seek and destroy type of mission, and I was too.
“And, there’s a cell phone for her.” I pointed to the shiny purple rectangle sitting by the laptop. “She won’t have any of her contacts… It’s better that way.”
I didn’t bother telling Owen that I’d mirrored the new phone to my own and linked my field computer to the laptop. That way I could keep a close eye on Jade and keep her safe. That was the only reason, not that my monster was addicted to her and needed to know she was okay every second of every fucking day. He was obsessed. Fucking pussy!
Owen nodded as he picked up the phone. “She’s not going to like this Tobin.” He turned the phone over in his hand as he talked. “Not one bit.”
“I know. Just keep her busy and stay in the house. There’s plenty of shit in here. Food, books, movies, games. Find something to do, anything. Just don’t let her leave.”
I started pacing again. Traversing the length of the room in deep thought. I was pretty sure I knew who trashed Jade’s apartment. Felix. The fucking bastard was wild, a loose cannon as they say, and a messy one at that. He couldn’t cover his tracks if you handed him a broom and dust pan. At least, not now. He could have… before.
I knew it was Felix by his signature destruction and half smoked Camel left on the kitchen counter. Hell, I’d seen it enough before. He was a fellow shifter, an ex-guardian dismissed from the Guard for the use of excessive force. That’s just political speak for, “he’s a sadistic fuck.”
That wild dog should’ve been put down ages ago. Once they go feral, there’s no saving them. But his criminal connections were everywhere. So entwined in everything, the Guard thought of him as an asset. They used him for special projects when excessive force was necessary. Fuck! They sent a demented mercenary after Jade. Like hell was I going to let Felix anywhere close to my mate. His shady underworld connections wouldn’t be enough to protect him from me.
“What are you going to do?” Owen asked. He watched me walk towards the door like the hero journeying to save the world, the cowboy riding off into the sunset, the monster going to kill them all. And that was exactly what I was going to do.
“I’m going to get the motherfucker that messed with our girl.” The door swung closed behind me, slamming in the frame and initiating the security features.